Illinois’ 5 Dumbest Arguments That Just Won’t Die
Illinois is home to world-class museums, breathtaking architecture, and some of the pettiest, most unnecessary debates known to mankind.
How much of our lives is wasted by dumb arguments? Start counting the minutes spent in one of the arguments below.
Illinois' 5 Dumbest Arguments That Just Won't Die
From pizza wars to sports feuds, our great state is riddled with arguments that should've been settled decades ago—but here we are, still fighting.
Let’s dive into five of the dumbest ones that refuse to die.
1. Deep Dish vs. Thin Crust: The Battle of Dough Regret
MORE: Illinois Pizzerias With The Highest Scores From Dave Portnoy's One Bite Reviews
Chicago deep dish is essentially a cheese lasagna with a bread bowl for a plate, while thin crust (aka tavern-style) is a crispy cracker with some toppings thrown on for moral support.
One camp argues that deep dish is a tourist trap, only eaten by people who don’t live here. The other insists that thin crust is just pizza’s sad, burnt cousin. Meanwhile, the rest of us just want a slice and a moment of peace.
I don't live in Chicago, I live in Rockford, but I can assume there's no difference when it comes to being blessed with so many great pizza choices.
2. The Endless Tollway Trauma
We have been paying tolls for what feels like an eternity, with the original promise that toll roads would eventually become free.
Spoiler alert: they did not.
Instead, we have a system where I-PASS holders zoom through at high speeds while out-of-state drivers panic and swerve into the cash lanes, causing chaos. The only thing more painful than paying tolls? The inevitable late fees if you forget.
3. Is the "S" in Illinois Silent or Not?
Every Illinoisan over the age of five knows the "S" in Illinois is silent. But does that stop some out-of-staters from confidently butchering it? The moment someone says "Illi-NOISE," an unspoken contract is signed that allows you to judge them forever.
4. Springfield vs. Chicago: The Fake Capital Controversy
Springfield is the official capital of Illinois. Chicago is...the place everyone assumes is the capital. This argument exists purely because people refuse to believe that a state as large as Illinois wouldn’t have its biggest city as the capital
The Argument That Actually Matters
While Illinoisans will argue about these things until the end of time, one thing we can all agree you DO NOT put ketchup on a Chicago-style hot dog! If you do, may the judgment of a thousand angry hot dog vendors be upon you.
Did I miss any? Let me know so we can argue about it in the comments.
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